#3 in THE DEAD RED MYSTERY SERIES "Janet Evanovich meets aero-ag pilots." The Kindle Book Review What if quitting your boring job put you in line for murder? Her beloved great aunt wants to bar-b-que dad's side-kick, Bruce the goat, and her man-hungry cousin has her sights set on her number one pilo ...
Makeup. Mannequins. Murder. When ex-cop-turned-P.I. Maggie Doyle scores a lucrative undercover job at the makeup counter at a fashionable Galway department store, she expects discounted lipstick and an easy paycheck. After an altercation with a customer leads to a dead body in Maggie’s bathtub, she ...
#5 in THE DEAD RED MYSTERY SERIES Like Janet Evanovich? Sue Grafton? You’ll love this humorous mystery series! Your dirt-bag boss is murdered, what a relief, right? Until his killer lets you know a list you don’t have means you’re next. Thinking to jump start their careers as private inve ...
When TJ, a fat neckbeard small time youtuber living with his mom met a strange girl in his one note town, he thought his luck was changing. What he didn’t know, on her heels, a deepweb gameshow bent on bringing his hick mountain town to its knees, just for sport.
Unleashing flesh hungry z ...
"OMG, if ever a book deserved more than 5 stars it’s this cracker. Outstanding, laugh out loud, panty melting goodness all wrapped up in one heartfelt package!"
"Romans having sex again is an hilarious romance of the best kind , witty, sharp and unexpectedly ...
It's their first winter holiday together on the Shrouded Isle… American widow Becca, her two daughters, and her Scottish boyfriend, Greg, are looking forward to celebrating. But trouble comes… As an elf on the shelf moves of its own volition, a snowman attracts too much attention, and an elderly nei ...
TRUE & ABSURD LAWSUITS THAT REALLY HAPPENED What happens when ordinary frustrations collide with the legal system? Sometimes you get serious questions about responsibility, fairness, and consumer rights. And sometimes you get lawsuits involving missing pants, Pepsi fighter jets, Google Maps ...
A boy-band heart throb. A violent kidnap. A female cop’s daring rescue. A spark to fire the passion of love.
When Sergeant Sophia Castellana stumbles into an international terrorist attack, things are not as they seem. Global forces beyond her grasp sweep her up into an a ...
Trouble has a way of finding Johnny Tee. That's why after years of consorting with organized crime types, he is set on finding a legitimate job and making a go of it as a functional member of society. He will fail miserably. As a new trilogy begins, Johnny is off to join the world of real estate. ...
BE THE FIRST TO READ ANNIVERSARY EDITION OF GRADE A STUPID! Stephanie Plum meets Veronica Mars meets The Blacklist in this #1 Amazon Bestseller in Teens Mysteries & Thrillers, Spies and Detective Stories. Darcy Walker is a 15-year-old girl without purpose--pretty but disheveled, clever but direc ...
This tale of Agnes Anne O’Neil, a 28 year-old virgin who struggles to leave home, will both captivate and tickle your funny bone. You’ll meet her wacky Irish Catholic family, her favorite saints and pet snail, and the evil that pursues her. You’ll chuckle when she introduces her Je ...
In Fairyland 200 years after the 'happy ending' Cinderella is plotting to divorce Charming. The other royal families aren't happy either. Sleeping Beauty is making up for all that lost time by producing 28 children her husband can't afford. Snow White, the perfect lady is married to a king who be ...
When a staunch atheist is introduced to the Lord Almighty in the most casual—and childish—way, it's not the end of the world. It's a Tuesday. Bradley Michaels is just another man ending just another workday at just another job. He can list the usual complaints, can point his finger at the usual caus ...
#2 in the Dead Red mystery series When a troubled, homeless veteran covers her vintage Cadillac with paper snowflakes, Lalla Bains decides a showdown is needed. Unfortunately, she arrives too late for that conversation---he’s lying in a pool of blood, stabbed with his own scissors. But someone is ...
Billionaire Rose West suffers no fools. Growing up abandoned by her parents and left to the socialite wolves at an all-girl boarding school, Rose learned early on how to survive with a smile, a wink, and cleavage full of cash. As an oil baroness, a soon-to-be honors graduate from a prestigious unive ...
Hollywood actress Hope Hadley doesn't think that things can get any worse for her. In the last twenty-four hours, her boyfriend has broken up with her and her long-running police procedural TV show has been canceled. ...
Silver Hills Senior and Singles Residence isn’t exactly a boring place. Home to a death predicting cat named Tolstoy, a night manager who may or may not suck blood and float above the floor, a cook with mad voodoo and pie baking powers, and a trio of nosy sleuths who are determined to get to the ...
He's running from his past, she's hoping he'll save her future ~~~ Marooned in Baja, Mexico, a Chechen arms dealer is waiting for the right diver to retrieve the deadly cargo on the bottom of the Sea of Cortez. But when the Queen of daytime drama, Leila Hunter Standiford, happens to admire a beaut ...
FINALIST - 2013 Next Generation Indie Book Awards (Humor/Humour) FINALIST - 2013 National Indie Excellence Book Awards (Humor/Humour) Think you've got it bad? You ain't seen nothing yet. Murphy's Law, meet Rodney's Law. If it can go wrong, it has already happened to Rodney Lacroix in the worst, most ...
Marissa Madison lives with a unique family: an inventive uncle whose experiments usually involve explosions, an artist aunt who collects classic automobiles, a mother caught in a 1950s time warp, and a playboy twin brother who impersonates their eccentric aunt. Ian MacGregor should have be ...
From the best-selling author of "Perhaps I've Said Too Much" and "Romantic as Hell."
Charlie's marriage has hit rock bottom and his bed is a lonely place. He tries his hand at erotica but will his writing light his wife’s fire or douse it out for good? Charlie’s story has her laughing into her morning latte. Charlies is a house husband and in her eyes his talents remain with past ...
If you can't stand the pressure... ask your mother to stop pointing the gun at your head. Steven is a writer, by all accounts of self-proclamation. But no artist can be expected to work under serious pressure, especially not when the pressure consists of his own mother indenting his tender skull wit ...
Another outrageous full-length comedy satire novel from Oscar Sparrow.
Johnny Books 1-3 make up The Organized Crime Trilogy. Johnny Tee is a wandering vagabond with a troubled past and an even bleaker future. His decision to go the straight and narrow goes haywire when he gets mixed up in the city's dirty underbelly. Coming out on top is going to be tougher than he thi ...
A lifeless hand rises ghost-like from a car mechanic's pit. Who does it belong to? And what happened? Annabelle and DI Nicholls set out to solve the murder, but find themselves wrapped up in not one, but three different mysteries. A puppy helps, too.
If life is a bowl of cherries, Frankie Chandler is stuck with the pits. Her new animal behavior business is a dud, the two men who were attracted to her now consider her as appealing as a plague victim, and her assertive Aunt Gertrude is in town with plans to drag her to the premiere of The Baking C ...
Cute for kids, a bit twisted and funny for adults! A Guppy??
But I wanted a Puppy! Guppy Butter is the darkly humorous tale of a young girl's wish for a puppy, but who ends up getting a Guppy instead.
She tries her best to meet her father's demands that if she can keep a fish aliv ...
Paris – the city of love, lights… and murder? Join tour guide Lana Hansen as she escorts five couples on an unforgettable Valentine-themed vacation to France! Unfortunately it will be the last trip for one passenger… Lana Hansen’s future is looking bright. She has money in her bank account, a babysi ...
As a struggling waitress and part-time college student, Rose Strickland’s life is stalled in the slow lane. But when her close friend, Axton, disappears, Rose suddenly finds herself serving up more than hot coffee and flapjacks. Now she’s hashing it out with sexy bad guys and scrambling ...
NASA astronaut Julie Starr knows nothing is earned without blood, sweat, and frizzy hair. Recently returned from orbit, Jules is on her way to becoming the youngest Flight Commander ever. So she isn't about to let a creepy stalker derail her goals. Or a chivalrous, wealthy rancher either, for that m ...
Sometimes you have to play dirty. I’m Paige Harper and I clean up supernatural messes. But my personal life is something I can’t seem to straighten out. I accidentally married a fae, and even though we've been divorced for years, Jax still manages to land me in hot water. Like, putting my house on t ...
Bridget Sway is newly dead. And confused. Instead of cloud cars and harp-playing cherubs, the afterlife is working a full-time job that doesn’t pay and a heinous communal living situation with housemates who have no concept of privacy or personal space. As if that wasn’t bad enough, on her first ...
Bobert McGee is just a regular guy. Anonymous in his job and his life, Bobert's singular obsession is to make a difference in the world. He wants to be noticed. He wants to be famous. He wants to matter. Bobert's desires come true when he stumbles across a time machine for sale on an Internet shoppi ...
Ever since Scharlette’s parents gave her a name no one can really pronounce, she’s been stuck in a bit of a rut. She hates her job in airport security, making people take their belts off before they fly to exotic locations she can only dream about. She owns a small apartment with large repayments, d ...
There's a prankster in all of us. Whether you're carving evil messages into your coworker's banana peel or telling your kids that, yes, raisins are actually dehydrated people, there's a certain, sinister-yet-fun draw to really messing with people. In Perhaps I’ve Said Too Much (the much antici ...
Writer, Beth, visits the same café every afternoon, enjoying her latte and a chocolate truffle while scribbling in her notebook. The delicious treats keep her coming back day after day, not to mention the inspiration she finds there – Samuel. The barista is tall, dark and delicious, and ...
Magical mayhem ensues when the Shaw family celebrates two new-to-them Scottish holidays in Poetry and Pyres, a Shrouded Isle novelette featuring Becca’s daughter, Jessie. During Robert Burns Night, An unexpected guest comes to the honored poet’s party. The meal goes awry through no fault of the ...
Amazon reviewers call Fun Stories Greatest Hits "the type of silly we all need!" Author R. Scott Murphy has honed his zingers and tongue-in-cheek observations of life as a writer for David Letterman’s Late Show, as a radio DJ, and as a TV host. Now, for the first time, Murphy's best-loved bits are ...
A field trip to the local art museum with Mittens's rambunctious nieces takes an unexpected turn when a priceless Monet painting is stolen! With their reputations on the line, the museum leadership desperately turns to Mittens and Alex for help. Will the detectives see past the deception around them ...
“You’ve been cancelled!” Daniel North, now the most famous man in Britain, is navigating the fickle world of celebrity. It’s a daily battle as he opens his DMs – is it another unsolicited nude, or a request for him to kill himself? There’s no grey area with the Reality TV fandom, and he’s reluctantl ...
What if dogs were royalty and humans their loyal servants? Hop aboard our invisible flying machine as Aunt Maddie and Uncle Horace join an international search for a new dogdom. The Royal Canines are recruiting street dogs who want a better life with devoted humans who speak the language of dogs. As ...
Frankie Chandler’s upcoming nuptials suffer a devastating setback when her fiancé, Detective Martin Bowers, is injured on the job. How badly injured? The doctors are mum on his condition, and his colleagues are just as evasive, telling her they don’t know what he was doing on the lonely hillside whe ...
An African safari camp in North Idaho? Won’t happen, not if offbeat eco-activist Roadkill can convince his more sedate brother to help fight the fanatical developer of the canned hunt. Together they brave captive zebras and wildebeests and face down the wannabe big game hunter and his wacky minio ...
The Alchemy of Happiness follows Aloysius Williams and his adventures in search of the meaning and practice of happiness. This satire on religion, culture and prejudice will challenge the history buffs and delight all lovers of tall-tales and happy endings.
From Book 1:Librarian Janet Johnson is puzzled when she is invitedand practically draggedto her first meeting of the Rejected Writers Book Club. This quirky group of women would much rather celebrate one anothers rejected manuscripts over cups of tea and slices of lemon cake than actually publish a ...
Shelby Nichols is an average woman who is married to the only guy she ever fell for. Her life is organized and predictable, revolving around her husband and two children. All that changes the day she stops at the grocery store for some carrots. As the cashier rings up her purchases, a gunman is b ...
When Lalla and her dad take a trip to Arizona to inspect her new property, Dad disappears. Panicked that he's lost in the desert, Lalla enlists the help of a local tracker and finds him unharmed at the bottom of a mine pit. But dad has company. A very dead local police chief. And within a stone's t ...
For fans of Black Mirror, Dave Eggers and Ben Elton comes a biting satire on out-of-control technology, politicians, admen and dreamers.
One big problem > One brilliant solution = One whole heap of trouble >
As artif ...
Frankie Chandler is finally at peace with her life. She’s engaged to Detective Martin Bowers, her pet psychic business is booming, and she’s overcome the emotional residue of a past relationship that destroyed her self-respect. Just when everything’s going swell, trouble strolls through her front ...
Hey! That’s my neighbor’s dog! When Eric, from Concerned Citizen, starts putting together clues in his mind, he thinks there’s a mystery to be solved. Is there? Or is he barking up the wrong tree? Find out in Canine Quandary. Word Count: 2,783 (This story can be enjoyed as a standalone story, ...
A provocative and humorous novel about four years in the life of an intrepid young medical student, set in the grueling world of an elite NYC medical school. “…the best fictional portrayal of med school since ER.” – BlueInk Review, starred review 2017 International Book Awards Bronze Medal Winner ...
Johnny continues his quest to find a spot in the working world and thinks he has finally found the solution: clientele who are in cages and verbally refuse his service. But when Johnny is given more responsibility than he should have, the animals, the customers, and the entire city are in for trou ...
When it’s your 10th year of fundraising for charity it’s hard to find a new idea. The women come up with a scheme to benefit the local hospice but it goes way past their comfort zone. Can they, should they, go ahead? Then there’s the matter of the Board of Trustees – men who are bound to op ...
When Frankie Chandler boards an Alaskan cruise ship, she’s hardly a cheerful advertisement for sailing the ocean blue. Her best (and only) friend is getting married, which means the end of impromptu girl’s nights. Her only consolation is the all-night buffet, but even that can’t make up for the body ...
When the love of her life died suddenly, Daphne Madison retreated to the innocent age of the 1950s when all a girl had to worry about was keeping her bobby socks and the pompom on her poodle skirt a brilliant white. With years of support from her loving and zany family, Daphne finally found a bit ...
Pet psychic Frankie Chandler finally (and reluctantly) agrees to meet Detective Martin Bower’s family. All she has to do is impress the pack of sisters who raised him. Not difficult, right? The only thing at stake is her relationship with the man she loves. The weekend at his eldest sibling’s fa ...
If your wedding venue cancels your wedding but keeps your deposit, and your parents continue badmouthing your fiancée, who keeps jabbing at you about your weight, would you think the universe was trying to tell you something? Kimi sure does. Her friends disagree. But why do they get a say? For ...
(Warning: Do not read this book if you don't understand parody or humor. This is NOT a romance story!) Enjoy the fun, free-style introduction to several very colorful characters from The Fairies Saga and Arlie Undercover series and find out how they’re involved with LOST: the 18th-century time tr ...
Frankie Chandler is a charlatan. Though she promotes herself as a pet psychic, her profound revelations come from animal behavior books and her ability to interpret the owner’s body language. Then an appointment with a new client goes horribly wrong and leaves her with images of a woman’s murder. Im ...
"Never have disgusting, miserable living conditions been so funny. When someone finally finds a way to send back a report from hell, I hope it will be Lance Pototschnik. Except this guy is going to heaven, for the way he writes." --The Kindle Book Review “Welcome to beautiful Costa Rica! Come and ex ...
What links a webcam girl, a cross-dressing police chief and an escaped ferret? A British nation torn by Brexit staggers on. Frankie Ferret, a pre-school children’s TV celebrity escapes into sewers of London and surely is dead. The people unite in grief. Police Chiefs, counselors and politicos stand ...
Ever wonder what children say to Santa Claus at Christmastime? Or what it would be like to don the Santa suit and portray jolly old St. Nick? Follow this volunteer Santa, author Don Kennedy, as he visits kids for the past 25 years at hospitals, military bases, women's and children's shelters, commun ...
It's a day just like any other day... until something utterly unfamiliar suddenly lands in your back yard. Susan is the epitome of the happy housewife, contentedly conducting her daily ritual of cleaning her home and keeping everything just as it should be. Wrapped up in her own little world within ...
Did someone say dance like no one is watching? Guess that’s the only way Tyler CAN dance now. Slip into the pages of the fun and feisty second book in the Rocky Mountain Romances series. Tyler Carter has everything she dreams of—she’s the starring ballerina in a Cirque-du-Soleil type show, a splashy ...
Interior Decorator Madison Night might look like a throwback to the sixties, but as business owner and landlord, she proves that independent women can have it all. But when a killer targets women dressed in her signature style—estate sale vintage to play up her resemblance to fave actress Dori ...
Weekends are hell.
If you do them right.
That's the subtext of the columns scrawled by Wiley from various states of semi-consciousness as he slinks out of the woodwork and insinuates himself into the soft underbelly of Southern California consciousness. Wilier than a coyote, badde ...
If there’s one thing more dangerous than fireworks, it’s dating.
Note to self: Lying facedown on the floor while my vacation home gets ransacked isn’t romantic. That break-in wrecked our simple lunch. Definitely not the date I had in mind.
My only reason for spend ...
Organized accountant Zoey Allen likes her life neat and tidy. But it goes from managed to messy when a dead body ends up in her apartment on an ordinary Tuesday night. After uncovering a money-laundering scheme in a routine audit at her company, Zoey finds herself the target in a murderous plot that ...
Warning: This book may be a choking hazard if read while eating or drinking. If you’re a fan of Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, then you’re going to love Amusing Musings. Get ready to enjoy the most hilarious book of the year. This hysterical compilation of profound thoughts and hilarious one liners w ...
Fate and idiocy has brought Johnny to Maui. In the final book of the first Johnny Trilogy, Johnny in Maui, working for an international crime organization against his will. Johnny is finally valuable because of his natural born ability to drive. He will have to drive anything and everything in order ...
"A lively beach or commute read, this quick, cheerful parody of aging, capitalism, and marriage offers a little bit of everything--comedy, suspense, romance--and even some insights into the meaning of life."
-Booklife by Publishers Weekly
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AuthorJimmy Clifton
Usual eBook Price3.99
Paperback Price11.99
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Reckless Traveler: an autobiographical novel of adventuring in South America, sure to delight anyone with a passport. Perú and beyond: Through the alchemy of travel, youthful folly may bring disaster or wisdom . . . and more. The instructional travel guide for aspiring backpackers: learn how ...
The Malfoys fight Wayne Hawkins and the resistance. At times the wizards prevail. Then the resistance wins in the end.
Chief Sitting Moose (the bonus story) is about a band of American natives taking over a saloon in the wild west. It's a humorous tale about the chief and his men fightin ...
Lucifer is a highly trained alien operative on a critical mission: decode a set of tarot cards and save his species from furry extinction. But when he’s mistaken f ...
After all the years they had been married, Maddie Ainsworth's presence still had the ability to discombobulate Horace. She was as tall as his own six feet--the reason they saw eye-to-eye on most things, they joked. To Horace, she was more beautiful than when they met thirty-some years ago. Maddie lo ...
