Humor
Aos Si Featured
Life has never been better for Tommy. His PI business is booming, and he has finally changed his status from it's complicated to in a relationship with Alvilde, the crime scene investigator.
When Alvilde picks him up on Halloween and drives him into the Norwegian woods, the last thing he imagined was being taken to a murder scene.
Well... No. The last thing he imagined was the dead body sitting in a camping chair dressed up as a mummy that had written Viking P.I. in blood with his dying breath.
Tommy has to start his own investigation to prove his innocence, ...
Santa Don, author Don Kennedy, is back with volume 3 of his series, Kids Say The Darndest Things To Santa Claus: 25 Years Of Santa Stories. What started, almost 30 years ago, with Don filling in for a volunteer Santa friend who got a bad virus, turned into a lifetime passion. Santa Don has filled the special role of jolly old St. Nick at Christmastime at hospitals, military bases, women’s and children’s shelters, school, churches, Boys and Girls Clubs, wildfire victim’s shelters, community centers and more. Just imagine what all he’s heard as little ones share their Christmas wish lists plus h ...
SHE PLAYED ONE ON TV, BUT NOW THAT HER LIFE DEPENDS ON IT, CAN MAIZIE ALBRIGHT ACT LIKE A DETECTIVE FOR REAL? For fans of romantic comedy mysteries like Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series and Meg Cabot's Heather Wells Mysteries. The Wall Street Journal bestselling and international award-winning author Larissa Reinhart brings her readers the first in the Maizie Albright Star Detective series, Hot Mystery Reviews’ ""Top 10 Mysteries for Book Clubs.” ”Child star and hilarious hot mess Maizie Albright trades Hollywood for the backwoods of Georgia and pure delight ensues. Maizie's my ne ...
Hey, Hu-Man Where Is Our Food Featured
You will laugh out loud at the antics of my cats. Ten cats have owned me over the last forty years. My home always has at least two cats in it. My furry friends spent years bending me to their will while I thought I was training them. My cats are lifesavers. They are there for me every step of my life. Single, married, working, being a mom, corporate executive, sad, and happy—the soft nose presses against my face and gentle purrs help me get on with life. Their antics made my heart and my being lighter than if I had been without them. I gathered the sweet, sad, happy, and funny articles I have ...
Kilty As Hell Featured
"This series is getting better and better." - Amazon Reviewer
Catriona is having a strange year. First, she found a dazed Highlander on the Hollywood studio lot where she works as a fixer and now it seems she and that big hunk of haggis are supposed to save the world from corrupted time travelers bent on destroying humanity.
She doesn't remember signing up for any of this...
When an insidious television personality reveals himself as more evil than anyone imagined and Catriona's crazy father Rune escapes, Catriona, Brochan, ...
Rocky Mountain Kid Featured
Can even the coldest heart be thawed? You bet! And your friends in Independence Junction prove it’s possible when a new kid comes to town. Get ready for some horsing around in the fourth book of the Rocky Mountain Romances series. What happens when nosy reporter Paige catches wind of a kiddo named Leslie getting adopted by local Rancher Paula—who everyone knows has a heart dripping with icicles? Paige moves in for the feel-good story of the year, grabs the exclusive interview, then sets off a chain of events that threaten to upend the peace and quiet in Independence Junction. It turns ou ...
Rocky Mountain Dogs Featured
Is that a vintage RV–– painted top to bottom with paw print-shaped polka-dots –– driving into town? You can bet your pupper’s next bubble bath it is! Get ready to plunge into the pages of the third book in the always pet-friendly Rocky Mountain Romances series. When Kathrina gets chased out of her Seattle apartment because of its no pets policy, she packs up her business, Kat’s for Dogs Mobile Grooming, and heads to the mountain town of Independence Junction, Colorado. In Independence Junction, pets are welcome, the local diner is the hub of social life, and Sam, that good-looking guy Kat met ...
Rocky Mountain Secrets Featured
Meet FBI agent Avery Wilkerson. She leads a hectic life, but fortunately has an adorable pet rat as a partner – the aptly-named Miss Marple – who has an uncanny nose that comes in handy. Will the rodent’s sniffer help solve the case when a serial killer seemingly terrorizes the residents of sleepy Independence Junction? Avery gets assigned the case with hunky agent Cole Carter. Maybe the assignment will give them the chance to admit their true feelings? Or will the fact that Cole is Avery’s brother’s best friend get in the way? Or maybe it’s the murder and mayhem that sidetracks their love ...
The Maple Muffin Murder Featured
Cassie’s husband kept the Boston townhouse and the friends ... she kept the dog, the midlife hot flashes, and the car, which she uses to drive the heck out of town, on a mission to rediscover herself and her Texas roots.
The supernatural surprises start on Cassie’s drive south when her Pekingese diva of a dog starts talking and a ghostly gramma on the run from the law appears in her backseat. Wondering whether it’s menopause or just her mind playing nasty tricks on her, Cassie tightens her grip on the wheel ... and her sanity and keeps driving.
When the p ...
Spells, Salt and Steel: Volume 1 Featured
“When all else fails, the ass end of a carp makes a damn fine weapon.” Your new favorite monster hunter has arrived! Bubba the Monster Hunter has some competition in this action/horror comedy collection from best-selling author duo Gail Z. & Larry N. Martin! By day, Mark Wojcik can be found elbow-deep in engine grease, making cars and trucks safe for the highway. By night, he can be found traipsing through the wilds of Pennsylvania, making the world safe for humans. He’s more than just a mechanic, he’s a New Templar Knight. He travels the backroads and byways fighting weresquonks, ningen, ...
Pineapple Trivia Night Featured
The Pineapple Port crew have quick minds and slow pets in the latest Pineapple Port Mystery by USA Today and Wall Street Journal bestselling author Amy Vansant.
Enter the series at any book - each is a complete standalone mystery!
Newly engaged private investigators, Charlotte and Declan, are hired to go undercover in a high-stakes trivia contest at the castle of an eccentric retired game show host. While they need the work and the price is right, thanks to a family feud, what sounds like a fun job, turns out to be jeopardy. The dress code is formal, the ...
Books 4-6 of the Pineapple Port Mysteries - money-saving three-book pack!
Wall Street Journal and USA TODAY Best-Selling author Amy Vansant introduces you to even more wonderfully lovable Pineapple Port characters in books FOUR-SIX of the hilarious mystery series keeping readers on the edge of their seats! The Pineapple Port Mystery Series is both sweet and edgy, and always hilarious!
Good Talk...Good Talk Featured
Raise your hand if you have ever run into a mannequin in a store and apologized. Continue to keep your hand raised if you want to pre-write thank you notes to those whom you anticipate attending your funeral because you suffer from chronic “way too nice” syndrome. Keep it up high if you have ever farted in church or yoga class. Man, my arm is getting tired! Most people are awkward during the middle school years, grow out of it, and blossom into mature, well-functioning human beings…I’m still waiting for this to happen. Awkwardness is my hidden talent, although most who know me would tell yo ...
The End of the Playboy Featured
From the acclaimed author of East of Lincoln comes this irresistibly funny and heartfelt comedy-drama about an aging rockstar playboy who falls for an older woman over one madcap and life-changing weekend in Los Angeles.
Cue the music ...
Lockdown Featured
George ousted from the drama club is desperate to direct again. The drama club would rather have their nails ripped out-----one by one. Will George get another chance? Lockdown has begun, George's caravan park is empty, his pension shares halved, and Catrina his on/off lover is definitely off. George is at a loss what to do until Catrina's Aunt is whisked off to a nursing home with the visiting rights of a security prison. George sees a chance. He decides to raise money for a covid friendly visiting room with ‘Panto on zoom’; not only will he woe his Catrina but restore his reputation as a dir ...
The Witch and the Ostrich Featured
Never trust a necromancer ostrich. The witch Quin Schumacher ekes out a living as the crotchety colosseum combat critic for the Daily Stardust newspaper. Complicating her job is Fergus, the former Death Lord of Jocrom. Fortunately, Quin already turned him into an ostrich. On their way to the dilapidated city of Queensworth to see heads roll in the local arena, Quin finds a note in a dead man’s pocket. Written in blood, it hints towards a nefarious conspiracy linking a gladiator to one of Quin’s fellow witches, all of whom are compelled to serve Her Majesty Queen Siobhan the Third. Mea ...
The Weave: A Donald Trump Satire Featured
"The Weave: A Donald Trump Satire" is your ticket to a laugh-out-loud journey through the bizarre world of Trump's most outlandish statements. This collection of hilarious vignettes takes aim at the former president's wildest claims, serving up satire that's as bold as his assertions.
Ever wondered how a bottle of bleach felt about being suggested as a COVID cure? Curious about Hannibal Lecter's reaction to Trump's unexpected praise? Or how about the herculean struggles of Trump's court-ordered gag order? This book has you covered!
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Ever since Scharlette’s parents gave her a name no one can really pronounce, she’s been stuck in a bit of a rut. She hates her job in airport security, making people take their belts off before they fly to exotic locations she can only dream about. She owns a small apartment with large repayments, drinks bargain bin red while she watches Star Trek, and misses her little sister, lost to an exploding sandwich press ten years ago. Scharlette fears she might live out her entire existence without doing anything or mattering to anyone. It still comes as quite a surprise when a handsome time travelle ...
BE THE FIRST TO READ ANNIVERSARY EDITION OF GRADE A STUPID! Stephanie Plum meets Veronica Mars meets The Blacklist in this #1 Amazon Bestseller in Teens Mysteries & Thrillers, Spies and Detective Stories. Darcy Walker is a 15-year-old girl without purpose--pretty but disheveled, clever but directionless, and infatuated with a bad boy. Everything changes when she skips class and finds a dead body. When a fellow misfit is charged with the crime, Darcy goes Mach 1 to clear his name--chasing every dangerous lead and living life like a verb. Trouble is, will she live to see sixteen?
What on earth do a dead tomato plant and a paycheck have in common? Maryann Miller explores the fun and foibles of how to survive parenting a large family, while vainly keeping body and mind intact. From School Daze to Summertime Blues, and everything in between, the book airs the Miller laundry with all the holes and missing buttons. She answers important family questions such as: What's for dinner? Who wrote the dirty words on the wall? Can we really pee in the woods? Do the kids really like the dog better than Mom? Readers of the humor column, from which this books comes, delighted in The G ...
This faceless corporate worker bee has had enough...and there's murder on her mind... After years of climbing the corporate ladder to achieve her ultimate goal---elite C-suite status---Adrian Banner has finally made it to the top of the morally corrupt mega-corporation she works for. Or so she thinks. Promised heir apparent to her C-Suite manager, Adrian is poised to make the final leap when her manager dies unexpectedly in a bizarre accident. When Adrian learns that shes not next up in the succession plan, she takes matters into her own hands, beginning a series of comical murders of well-des ...
Little Lance Pototschnik wanted to grow up and play pro football, but that pipe dream got smoked by his lethargic growth hormones and a terrible skin disorder. The death of his childhood aspirations did, however, plant the seeds for Lance to find comedy in rejection and suffering. In this gaspingly funny collection of stories, Lance’s battle with disease, his overbearing parents, and his maniacal bosses push him toward the startling discovery that the daily grind--which strips the gold off even the best of us--is the very thing that reveals what we are truly made of. This book is for every int ...
Makeup. Mannequins. Murder. When ex-cop-turned-P.I. Maggie Doyle scores a lucrative undercover job at the makeup counter at a fashionable Galway department store, she expects discounted lipstick and an easy paycheck. After an altercation with a customer leads to a dead body in Maggie’s bathtub, she and her assistant realize there’s more to the department store case than missing cash. Can they catch the killer before the holidays? Or will the festive season end in an explosion of tinsel and turmoil?
Where fake tans and fake smiles abound, a dancing queen must tango with deception to unmask a murderer before the last curtain call.
As her 50th birthday approaches, Chloe Essex prepares to unveil her exciting new business venture in the quaint village of Speckled Hill. But her perfect celebration turns into a nightmare when she discovers her best friend dead in the marquee just before the big reveal.
Accused of murder, Chloe must navigate suspicious business dealings, catfights, and tangled love affairs to clear her name and salvage her reputation.
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"A lively beach or commute read, this quick, cheerful parody of aging, capitalism, and marriage offers a little bit of everything--comedy, suspense, romance--and even some insights into the meaning of life."
-Booklife by Publishers Weekly
"A mysterious author delivers the comical tale...a raucous adventure around the globe...brisk, debaucherous, and cheeky sense of humor...fast-paced, modern, and world-spanning..."
-Kirkus Reviews
"Readers looking for a rollicking adventure...intrigue and ac ...
AuthorJimmy Clifton
Usual eBook Price3.99
Paperback Price11.99
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It’s the American way to create a celebration for everything, then turn it into a chore or worse, a nightmare. ’Tis the Season to Feel Inadequate is a collection of humorous essays about how we let our expectations steal the joy out of Christmas and other holidays and special events. It’s understanding for those who think Christmas form letters can be honest—or they can be interesting. And it’s empathy for anyone who’s ever gotten poison ivy during Nude Recreation Week or eaten all their Halloween candy and had to hand out instant oatmeal packets to their trick-or-treaters.
The 2008 recession hits. The US economy goes belly-up and sentences a young generation to wayward lives. With nothing to lose, Lance Pototschnik and his best friend, Jackson Greenly, decide to go for their artist dreams. Lance begins a grassroots initiative to sell an original screenplay to Hollywood. He lives out of a rental car and travels the country filming strangers' street auditions, hoping to generate enough interest on social media to dragoon a production deal. Jackson goes to art school, where he is inspired to make the perfect painting: one with the power to shoot a person dead. Holl ...
Organized accountant Zoey Allen likes her life neat and tidy. But it goes from managed to messy when a dead body ends up in her apartment on an ordinary Tuesday night. After uncovering a money-laundering scheme in a routine audit at her company, Zoey finds herself the target in a murderous plot that doesn't quite add up. Good thing she has Mac--a handsome police officer--and the Page Turners book club to help her solve the case. Officer 'Mac' McCarthy came back to Pleasant Valley to get away from murder and corruption. The last thing he needs is to be tied up in a case of attempted murder with ...
Fate and idiocy has brought Johnny to Maui. In the final book of the first Johnny Trilogy, Johnny in Maui, working for an international crime organization against his will. Johnny is finally valuable because of his natural born ability to drive. He will have to drive anything and everything in order to save the world. It's too bad for us that he is a complete moron.
Ever wonder what children say to Santa Claus at Christmastime? Or what it would be like to don the Santa suit and portray jolly old St. Nick? Follow this volunteer Santa, author Don Kennedy, as he visits kids for the past 25 years at hospitals, military bases, women's and children's shelters, community centers, school, churches and more. Hundreds of fun, hilarious, laugh-out-loud plus heartwarming, sweet and touching stories. Enjoy the precocious, unfiltered, blunt and funny conversations with these little "characters." Kids truly do say the darndest things! The book, the second in a series of ...
Murder. Millionaires. Mankinis. Armed with her newly issued private investigator's license, Maggie Doyle is on the case…of a sheep that went missing twenty-two years ago. When she trips over a dead body on the first day of the investigation, Maggie realizes there’s more to this cold case than a fight over lamb chops. An invitation to spend the weekend with her grandmother’s oldest friend and her family, the super wealthy Huffingtons, gives Maggie the perfect excuse to sniff out the killer. After the family patriarch is electrocuted in the swimming pool, Maggie finds herself embroiled ...
Postmen. Poltergeists. Poteen. When former San Francisco cop, Maggie Doyle, extends her stay in Ireland, dealing with more murder and mayhem isn’t on her to-do list. The instant Maggie and her UFO-enthusiast friend discover the dead body of the Whisper Island postman, Maggie’s plans to chill for the next two months are put on ice. After Police Sergeant Reynolds, Maggie’s handsome neighbor, arrests Lenny’s brother for the murder, her friend begs her to find the real killer. Meanwhile, Maggie is hired to investigate ghostly goings on at the Whisper Island Hotel. Can she solve two crimes before S ...
In Fairyland 200 years after the 'happy ending' Cinderella is plotting to divorce Charming. The other royal families aren't happy either. Sleeping Beauty is making up for all that lost time by producing 28 children her husband can't afford. Snow White, the perfect lady is married to a king who beds every wench in the kingdom. The Grand Annual Ball is approaching to marry off the next generation, but there is a scarcity of princes. Into all this chaos arrives the Green Giant sent by the Red Party to ferment revolution among the happy peasants. The stage is set for disaster.
It starts with a hangover. Could it end with an international incident? The Joy (yes, that’s what she calls herself) is the crazy glue holding together this group of reprobates. Meet six tight friends who are the picture of social, financial and ethnic diversity. They’re also struggling together through the crazy new normal of life during lockdown in New York City. Just as they’re hitting their stride, The Joy is called to care for her icy mother in steamy Florida, where HOA rules are strict and the neighbors are loose. Meanwhile, The Joy’s roommate Kimi is left alone to balance fea ...
After losing their father and learning local mob boss Caruso wants to collect on their dad’s old gambling debts, Dahlia and Minerva hightail it out of Chicago on a hilarious and sometimes scary journey west. Accompany them on their adventure and be right beside them as they unexpectedly find new friends and face the shadows of their past.
For fans of Black Mirror, Dave Eggers and Ben Elton comes a biting satire on out-of-control technology, politicians, admen and dreamers.
One big problem > One brilliant solution = One whole heap of trouble >
As artificial intelligence devours jobs, the UK government invites proposals for ways to motivate worried workers and placate the unemployed.
For advertising guru Andy Samuels, the project just might relieve his boredom. Working closely with his best friend and chatbot supremo Rick Osborn ...
The Alchemy of Happiness follows Aloysius Williams and his adventures in search of the meaning and practice of happiness. This satire on religion, culture and prejudice will challenge the history buffs and delight all lovers of tall-tales and happy endings.
When Frankie Chandler boards an Alaskan cruise ship, she’s hardly a cheerful advertisement for sailing the ocean blue. Her best (and only) friend is getting married, which means the end of impromptu girl’s nights. Her only consolation is the all-night buffet, but even that can’t make up for the body she discovers below her balcony. The only witnesses are a troupe of performing cats. Just when things can’t get any more bizarre, Detective Martin Bowers joins the cruise in Juneau, and the investigation isn’t the only thing about to heat up.
When TJ, a fat neckbeard small time youtuber living with his mom met a strange girl in his one note town, he thought his luck was changing. What he didn’t know, on her heels, a deepweb gameshow bent on bringing his hick mountain town to its knees, just for sport.
Unleashing flesh hungry zombies, feral survivors and monstrous abortions of science onto his once peaceful town. TJ is forced to embrace his own fantasy and play a sick game for a hungry internet audience, get the girl, kill the bad guys and save what remains of his burning town or failing that just himself, his mother and ...
A lovely American detective's idyllic sail to Mexico ends when she comes face to face with her unfortunate past. But what is unfortunate for Detective Katy Hunter is just the ticket a handsome Latin investigator needs to solve a murder involving a rich, and cartel connected, American yachtsman. The couple's growing attraction wouldn't be so bad, if only they can bring a vicious killer to justice before they become the next victims.
Carnivorous garden gnomes or mutant sewer monsters. Nothing is too weird for intrepid paranormal reporter Aurora North. Especially as she usually finds the logical, and deeply unparanormal, explanation for it all. When her editor asks her to check out an alleged vampire attack, Aurora is absolutely certain it’s nothing but a stunt for the university theatre production of Dracula ... until she discovers a dead body with vampire-fang-like puncture wounds. Whether it’s a genuine vampire attack or a hoax gone "dramatically" wrong, Aurora knows she has a fangtastic exposé on her hands. That's if sh ...
As a struggling waitress and part-time college student, Rose Strickland’s life is stalled in the slow lane. But when her close friend, Axton, disappears, Rose suddenly finds herself serving up more than hot coffee and flapjacks. Now she’s hashing it out with sexy bad guys and scrambling to find clues in a race to save Axton before his time runs out. With her anime-loving bestie, her septuagenarian boss, and a pair of IT wise men along for the ride, Rose goes from zero to sixty and quickly learns when you’re speeding down the fast lane, it’s easy to crash and burn.
(Warning: Do not read this book if you don't understand parody or humor. This is NOT a romance story!) Enjoy the fun, free-style introduction to several very colorful characters from The Fairies Saga and Arlie Undercover series and find out how they’re involved with LOST: the 18th-century time travel romance novel that fascinated the world. In 2011, millions were Obsessed - Inspired - and Consumed with the loves, lives, and even languages spoken in LOST. Meet some of its staunchest fans, bump into a few unbelievably dumb villains, and discover the wife from hell and a few others, all inv ...
A lifeless hand rises ghost-like from a car mechanic's pit. Who does it belong to? And what happened? Annabelle and DI Nicholls set out to solve the murder, but find themselves wrapped up in not one, but three different mysteries. A puppy helps, too.
With their world destroyed and their space ship malfunctioning, the royal dogizens of Planet Canid have little choice but to crash land on Earth--in the midst of Aunt Maddie's eccentric family planning a Christmas wedding for former playboy, Ryan Madison, and elfenchaun, Dori. After rescuing the Royal Canines from tortuous experiments ordered by the evil commander of the Geeks in Green, Ryan and Dori are happily married and welcome their surprise wedding guests into Aunt Maddie's family. Now, as foretold in an enchanted tapestry, the Royal Canines dream of a new dogdom. The search takes them t ...
#3 in THE DEAD RED MYSTERY SERIES "Janet Evanovich meets aero-ag pilots." The Kindle Book Review What if quitting your boring job put you in line for murder? Her beloved great aunt wants to bar-b-que dad's side-kick, Bruce the goat, and her man-hungry cousin has her sights set on her number one pilot. What else could possibly go wrong? Oh yeah, her new pilot is really a CPA hiding from a vicious Las Vegas hitman.
“You’ve been cancelled!” Daniel North, now the most famous man in Britain, is navigating the fickle world of celebrity. It’s a daily battle as he opens his DMs – is it another unsolicited nude, or a request for him to kill himself? There’s no grey area with the Reality TV fandom, and he’s reluctantly heading back into the Thunderdome, this time as a judge. Social Media Superstar sees a group of influencers compete for a one-million-pound prize. There’s a fitness fanatic, FX trader, political activist, porn star, drag queen, vegan, and some other filler to make up the numbers, battling it out f ...
Sylvia Stryker has no business being on the next Moon Unit Cruise Line, unless you count aspirations and dreams. The career that once felt within her reach—Intergalactic Cruise Ship Security—disappeared the day her dad was arrested for collusion with space pirates. Since then she’s begrudgingly been running the ice mine for her aging mother, the two of them social pariahs amongst their fellow Plunians. Everything changes when the uniform lieutenant position on Moon Unit 6 opens up days before departure. Sylvia immediately puts her hacking skills to use, uploading bogus credentials onto the cre ...
Frankie Chandler’s upcoming nuptials suffer a devastating setback when her fiancé, Detective Martin Bowers, is injured on the job. How badly injured? The doctors are mum on his condition, and his colleagues are just as evasive, telling her they don’t know what he was doing on the lonely hillside where he fell. Convinced that the key to Bowers’ recovery lies in finding out what happened, the pet psychic’s only hope for clarity is a gourmand goat who demands payment in pastries before he’ll reveal his secrets. When he does, his responses are confusing…and terrifying. Then Bowers’ mysterious, pos ...
What links a webcam girl, a cross-dressing police chief and an escaped ferret? A British nation torn by Brexit staggers on. Frankie Ferret, a pre-school children’s TV celebrity escapes into sewers of London and surely is dead. The people unite in grief. Police Chiefs, counselors and politicos stand in tear stained sincerity with the common people. Viktor Pinupskin of Russia offers a genetically modified bear cub with his own face as a substitute. Internet bots urge a vote and attempt to sway the masses. Chaos and panic threaten to destroy the economy. Into the mix steps young police inspector ...
Sometimes you have to play dirty. I’m Paige Harper and I clean up supernatural messes. But my personal life is something I can’t seem to straighten out. I accidentally married a fae, and even though we've been divorced for years, Jax still manages to land me in hot water. Like, putting my house on the table at a high stakes poker game type of hot. Now, he's been arrested for murder and the cops want to pin a series of vampire killings on him. I don't know if he did it or not. But I do know he needs to be at that poker game or else my house is gone. In order to get Jax out, I turn to Nico, a on ...
What happens when a grumpy billionaire, a perpetually friendly marketing exec and a hairless cat with a catnip addiction spend a night in Vegas... (A black-eye for starters.) Thomas Moore, heir to the glamorous New York department store Moore’s, has everything. Everything but a sense of humor. Probably why he's so often compared to his philandering crook of a father. Alice Truman, recently promoted from the sales floor, is determined to prove her worth. Even if that means smiling in the face of the arrogant and too-sexy-for-his-own-good Thomas Moore, who seems to think her unfit for her new po ...
"Never have disgusting, miserable living conditions been so funny. When someone finally finds a way to send back a report from hell, I hope it will be Lance Pototschnik. Except this guy is going to heaven, for the way he writes." --The Kindle Book Review “Welcome to beautiful Costa Rica! Come and experience our diverse wildlife. Exhume nests of dead baby turtles and stay up all night while mosquitoes elicit blood from your very soul! Indulge in the local cuisine. Eat rice and beans until the malnutrition engenders hallucinations! Travel west to Guanacaste, to the peninsula that pokes into the ...
Trouble has a way of finding Johnny Tee. That's why after years of consorting with organized crime types, he is set on finding a legitimate job and making a go of it as a functional member of society. He will fail miserably. As a new trilogy begins, Johnny is off to join the world of real estate. It's escrows. It's liens. It's a bunch of other terms he doesn't know and isn't learning. That's okay because Johnny is a born salesmen. But it's also not okay because he's a born idiot.
In this lighthearted memoir of adventure and self-discovery, Rich Israel takes us on his journey during the tumultuous 1960s. Eschewing societal norms, he hitchhikes across the country, tries his hand at mining, works at a circus, and rides a horse hundreds of miles through the Rocky Mountain wilderness—all the while, the draft and the Vietnam War are nipping at his heels. Written in vivid detail, this coming-of-age story is filled with humor, insight, heartbreak, and triumph, along with unforgettable, quirky characters.
Cute for kids, a bit twisted and funny for adults! A Guppy??
But I wanted a Puppy! Guppy Butter is the darkly humorous tale of a young girl's wish for a puppy, but who ends up getting a Guppy instead.
She tries her best to meet her father's demands that if she can keep a fish alive, she'll be allowed to get a puppy.
Tragedy after humorous tragedy ensues as she endures the taunts of her older brother and does her best to keep her fishies alive!
Complimented by the amazing art of artist Amanda Gielen, this illustrated tale will leave you laughing!
Southlea Bay's favorite sweethearts, Flora and Dan, are getting married and the members of the Rejected Writers' Book Club are excited to help. Especially the group's head honcho, Doris Newberry, who, much to Flora’s frustration, wants to control every detail, attempting to strong-arm Flora into accepting ridiculous wedding vows, wayward bongo players and into wearing a huge, old-fashioned wedding dress. But when a new resident arrives in town with information about Flora's past that threatens her chance of happiness, the overwhelmed bride-to-be disappears overnight. To find her, The Rejected ...
Calvin Quinn is a long way from the corn fields of Nebraska. The rookie canine journalist is eager to start a new life in the metropolitan city of Bowwow. He dreams of busting bad guys with front page headlines alongside Bowwow's famous investigative journalist team, Mittens Meow and Alex Digger. But Calvin Quinn has a secret: He doesn't only fight crime with his pencil and reporter's instinct. He also fights crime . . . with superhero powers. After months of training, Calvin Quinn is ready to hit the streets and defend the innocent as Power Pup!
Warning: This book may be a choking hazard if read while eating or drinking. If you’re a fan of Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, then you’re going to love Amusing Musings. Get ready to enjoy the most hilarious book of the year. This hysterical compilation of profound thoughts and hilarious one liners will make you laugh until you cry. Relish ridiculously "profound" quotes such as these: “I bet a popular joke in the medieval days was to sneak up behind a knight and stick a “kick me” sign on his armor with a magnet.” “I think it would be a good idea if scientists invented a new fruit. It should loo ...
What if dogs were royalty and humans their loyal servants? Hop aboard our invisible flying machine as Aunt Maddie and Uncle Horace join an international search for a new dogdom. The Royal Canines are recruiting street dogs who want a better life with devoted humans who speak the language of dogs. As foretold in an enchanted tapestry, their dream will turn an abandoned village in Sardinia, Italy, into an automated town where dogs can open their own refrigerators, play in the park all day, and always have a soft bed to sleep on--someday... In the meantime, Chiara Caddu tries to bring attention t ...
Love can be quite a trip. Whether it's that first magnetic encounter with a fascinating stranger, the desperate wait for a call that never comes, or even the lies and deceptions of an illicit affair, there's nothing like the power of attraction to have us acting like crazy fools. Many of these twenty funny, twist or thoughtful short tales by bestselling novelist Ellie Campbell (aka sisters Pam Burks and Lorraine Campbell), were first published internationally in top women's magazines like That's Life, Bella, Take a ...
A provocative and humorous novel about four years in the life of an intrepid young medical student, set in the grueling world of an elite NYC medical school. “…the best fictional portrayal of med school since ER.” – BlueInk Review, starred review 2017 International Book Awards Bronze Medal Winner in Fiction - Humor/Comedy (Readers' Favorite) and INDIES Book of the Year Finalist Medical student Seth Levine faces escalating stress and gallows humor as he struggles with the collapse of his romantic relationships and all preconceived notions of what it means to be a doctor. It doesn’t take long be ...
Magical mayhem ensues when the Shaw family celebrates two new-to-them Scottish holidays in Poetry and Pyres, a Shrouded Isle novelette featuring Becca’s daughter, Jessie. During Robert Burns Night, An unexpected guest comes to the honored poet’s party. The meal goes awry through no fault of the cook. Can they salvage the disaster-filled evening? At the village fire festival, Girls ignore tradition and join the men’s-only procession. But when a fae is afoot, the flames fizzle. Is their Up Helly Aa doomed to have no blaze? And during it all, Jessie Shaw and her boyfriend, Gavin, f ...
FINALIST - 2013 Next Generation Indie Book Awards (Humor/Humour) FINALIST - 2013 National Indie Excellence Book Awards (Humor/Humour) Think you've got it bad? You ain't seen nothing yet. Murphy's Law, meet Rodney's Law. If it can go wrong, it has already happened to Rodney Lacroix in the worst, most comedic way humanly possible. And you'll find all of those stories right here, in full-color detail, right in this book. Things Go Wrong For Me (when life hands you lemons, add vodka) is a memoir of sorts, a roadmap of Rodney Lacroix's haywire life thus far. If you think you're having a bad day, th ...
The first book in the series introduces us to Johnny Tee, a wandering vagabond with a troubled past and an even bleaker future. A fighter, gambler, and liar Johnny Tee has lived a life that has been one misstep after another. He makes a decision to go the straight and narrow that is going to be harder than he thinks due to the fact that he is a complete idiot. Navigating the city's dirty underbelly should be no problem for a guy who is a magnet for trouble, and he's going to need the help of some unwilling friends and the power of unrequited love to save the day.
Shelby Nichols is an average woman who is married to the only guy she ever fell for. Her life is organized and predictable, revolving around her husband and two children. All that changes the day she stops at the grocery store for some carrots. As the cashier rings up her purchases, a gunman is busy robbing the bank inside the store. When a customer grabs the robber’s mask, he is shot and everyone runs for cover. Everyone except Shelby, who finds herself face to face with the killer. The next thing she knows, she’s lying on the floor with a bullet wound to her head. Luckily, the bullet only ...
Weekends are hell.
If you do them right.
That's the subtext of the columns scrawled by Wiley from various states of semi-consciousness as he slinks out of the woodwork and insinuates himself into the soft underbelly of Southern California consciousness. Wilier than a coyote, badder than Santa, Gonzo'er than Dr. Duke, the Wilester lays waste to everybody in range, not least himself.
There are two tributaries to the flow of "The Way of the Weekend Warrior": a normal (more of less) plot of a demented outsider snarfing up the media scene, and the content of the columns h ...
Librarian Janet Johnson is puzzled when she is invited—and practically dragged—to her first meeting of the Rejected Writers’ Book Club. This quirky group of women would much rather celebrate one another’s rejected manuscripts over cups of tea and slices of lemon cake than actually publish a book. But good friends are exactly what Janet needs after moving to the small town of Southlea Bay, Washington. Just as the ladies are about to raise a teacup to their five hundredth rejection letter, they receive bad news that could destroy one member’s reputation—and disband the group forever. To save the ...
Interior Decorator Madison Night might look like a throwback to the sixties, but as business owner and landlord, she proves that independent women can have it all. But when a killer targets women dressed in her signature style—estate sale vintage to play up her resemblance to fave actress Doris Day—what makes her unique might make her dead. The local detective connects the new crime to a twenty-year old cold case, and Madison's long-trusted contractor emerges as the leading suspect. As the body count piles up, Madison uncovers a Soviet spy, a campaign to destroy all Doris Day movie ...
A despicable stock trader is found buried under an avalanche of his own garden rocks, causing fired-from-the force- Richard Sherlock to be yanked off the bowling alley and whisked to the crime scene by his pampered protegee Tiffany Richmond. He must prove murder and stop payment of the twelve-million-dollar Richmond Insurance policy. Nothing makes sense. Crime scene is a mess. There is no money trail. There are too many motives from too many suspects who have too many alibis. Worst of all Sherlock's bad back is acting up, his ex-wife wants more money and the murder investigation is putting a s ...
A Mother’s Day trip to the Netherlands turns deadly when a guest plummets from a windmill. Was it an accident or a murder? For Lana Hansen, the answer will mean freedom or imprisonment for someone close to her… Wanderlust Tours guide Lana Hansen and her mother, Gillian, haven’t seen eye to eye in over a decade, ever since Lana was wrongly fired from her job as an investigative reporter. So when Lana’s boss invites Gillian to join her upcoming Mother’s Day tour to the Netherlands, Lana is less than pleased. What could be worse than spending ten days with her estranged mother? Lana is about to f ...
There's a prankster in all of us. Whether you're carving evil messages into your coworker's banana peel or telling your kids that, yes, raisins are actually dehydrated people, there's a certain, sinister-yet-fun draw to really messing with people. In Perhaps I’ve Said Too Much (the much anticipated follow-up to the heralded, award-winning Things Go Wrong For Me), Rodney Lacroix gives the reader some insight on what it's like to live the prankster life. No one is safe, including Rodney himself as not all of his antics go entirely as planned. Join him as he spins some yarns, gives you some ...
Polly Letofsky left her Colorado home and headed west across 4 continents and over 14,000 miles--by foot--to become the first woman to walk around the world. In a spirit of adventure, along with the goal of raising global awareness for breast cancer, strangers welcomed her into their homes. The world had embraced her. But in the middle of Polly's journey, 9/11 flung us all into a crossroads in world history, and she found herself navigating a vastly changing world. Polly's GlobalWalk has been featured in over 2,000 newspapers, magazines, radio and television stations around the world includ ...
Self-made mogul Chase Moore is a charming hound dog with a hairless cat and a family business to save. He was fine being the spare to the heir until the family's billion-dollar business threatens to go belly-up. Now Chase will need more than his rakish good looks to fight his father for control. Powerhouse marketing guru Campbell King returns to Texas and launches her own company after being chewed up and spat out by the city that never sleeps. One phone call makes all the difference when a suave and sexy male voice offers her the chance to redeem herself and help him save his swan ...
“The funniest take on a bestseller since Harvard Lampoon’s Bored of the Rings.” — CNBC on Shaffer’s Fifty Shades parody, Fifty Shames of Earl Grey Jay Z. Catsby throws the sickest parties on the Jersey Shore. His neighbor Dick has heard all the rumors: Catsby killed a man. He’s richer than Blue Ivy. He’s Hugh Jackman’s butt double in the X-Men movies. As Dick soon learns, the truth is far stranger. Catsby is a “furry” who spends his days and nights in a cat costume, pining away for Dick’s cousin Dandelion, a manic-pixie Brooklynite with a brutish husband. Will Catsby’s romantic obsession cost ...
March lst is Mardi Gras in New Orleans....and free today, is RESCUED BY A KISS. All the fun of Mardi Gras—without the hangover! A Mardi Gras kiss launches a manhunt to find a victim shot with the help of some quirky characters in a city that knows how to have a good time. One kiss and her world turns upside down... Can she solve the case that threatens his life? Brandy Alexander never thought living in the Big Easy could feel so dull. And as she waits painfully for her long-time cop boyfriend to propose, she’s not sure their hearts are beating to the same tune. Then, she did what lots of young ...
A brand new female vicar. An accident-prone nun. Two friends. Two killings. Annabelle and Mary are best friends. But when one gets framed for murder, can the other one save her? Assigned to St. Clement's Church in an inner-city borough just outside Hackney in London, Reverend Annabelle Dixon brings an enthusiasm and drive to her clerical position that baffles her mentor, Father John, but which soon gains her fans and admiration. Annabelle is not your typical vicar, but her strengths prove to serve her, and those around her, very well. When Annabelle plans to meet her longtime friend, Sister Ma ...
Amazon reviewers call Fun Stories Greatest Hits "the type of silly we all need!" Author R. Scott Murphy has honed his zingers and tongue-in-cheek observations of life as a writer for David Letterman’s Late Show, as a radio DJ, and as a TV host. Now, for the first time, Murphy's best-loved bits are all in one collection. "Mr. Pee Man," "Shamefully Suggestive City Names," "I'm The Freakin' Michael Phelps of Googling," "Cub Scout Dropout," and "Chick-fil-A Makes Me Feel Like Leonardo DiCaprio," are all included! This raucous book contains 80+ slice-of-life anecdotes and end-of-chapter jokes. ...
He's running from his past, she's hoping he'll save her future ~~~ Marooned in Baja, Mexico, a Chechen arms dealer is waiting for the right diver to retrieve the deadly cargo on the bottom of the Sea of Cortez. But when the Queen of daytime drama, Leila Hunter Standiford, happens to admire a beautiful vintage Alden and its handsome captain, she doesn't realize that the boat will soon burn to the water line, or that a dead body will be found below, or that the captain has been targeted as a sacrificial diver.
Thomas Gephardt is a world traveller. Or at least he would like to be one. Determined to leave the confines of his sheltered upbringing in the United States, he voyages to France to expand his horizons. He spends three months with a French family in Bordeaux, working in a local hotel. Inspired by these experiences, Thomas has plans to continue travelling. However, a romantic interest in Paris—an Israeli woman named Sendi—complicates matters. He leaves but remains in contact with Sendi while he lives abroad in Japan as an English teacher and then in Israel as a volunteer on a kibbutz. Throughou ...
“A hilarious, mile-a-minute ride! Amazon Reviewer Getting Ahead Ain’t Easy There’s a fine line between quirky and crazy. How do you know when you’ve crossed it? Everybody’s got their coping mechanisms. Val Fremden is no exception. But when her longtime boyfriend Tom Foreman takes off without even saying goodbye—well, that’s just the kind of thing that can make a good woman go bad. Out to track down Tom or die trying, everyone Val meets seems like a potential suspect. Especially her new coworker, Gary. Ever since he showed up, women around town have begun disappearing. And the macabre ...
When the love of her life died suddenly, Daphne Madison retreated to the innocent age of the 1950s when all a girl had to worry about was keeping her bobby socks and the pompom on her poodle skirt a brilliant white. With years of support from her loving and zany family, Daphne finally found a bit of shaky courage and faced the long, long journey out into a world she wasn’t sure she wanted to live in. In spite of setbacks, Daphne found satisfaction in helping Aunt Maddie at the homeless shelter and even met a man she thought she could help her find love again. Brenner is trying to get his life ...
NASA astronaut Julie Starr knows nothing is earned without blood, sweat, and frizzy hair. Recently returned from orbit, Jules is on her way to becoming the youngest Flight Commander ever. So she isn't about to let a creepy stalker derail her goals. Or a chivalrous, wealthy rancher either, for that matter. Holt West doesn't mess with flirts. And that's exactly what Jules is. He has enough on his plate, working the ranch he inherited from his grandfather while making sure his siblings follow their dreams. He doesn't need to be distracted from his responsibilities by the smart-mouthed, long-legge ...
When it’s your 10th year of fundraising for charity it’s hard to find a new idea. The women come up with a scheme to benefit the local hospice but it goes way past their comfort zone. Can they, should they, go ahead? Then there’s the matter of the Board of Trustees – men who are bound to oppose the women on anything that steps out of the domestic sphere. A humorous story for readers of women’s and contemporary fiction.
Johnny Books 1-3 make up The Organized Crime Trilogy. Johnny Tee is a wandering vagabond with a troubled past and an even bleaker future. His decision to go the straight and narrow goes haywire when he gets mixed up in the city's dirty underbelly. Coming out on top is going to be tougher than he thinks due to the fact that he is both a magnet for trouble and a complete moron. It's going to take the power of some unwilling friends and some unrequited love to save the day.
Charlie's marriage has hit rock bottom and his bed is a lonely place. He tries his hand at erotica but will his writing light his wife’s fire or douse it out for good? Charlie’s story has her laughing into her morning latte. Charlies is a house husband and in her eyes his talents remain with pastry rolling. However, the director of the local pantomime is inspired. He sees a talent for comedy and persuades Charlie to write for the local pantomime. Charlie’s wife calls him crazy and with a dame as funny as a kidney stone and equipment on a par with a second-hand stall Charlie can see her poin ...
When this odd couple signs up to be extras in a fitness video, it’s lights, camera… murder. Sho Tanaka is desperate for normalcy. Uncomfortably getting by in a tiny Texas town after prescription drugs cost him his job, the last thing the disgraced nurse needs is a former tween TV star roping him into more trouble. But his chance for inner peace evaporates when a cocky physical trainer he confronts keels over and drops dead. Levi Blue is determined that his best days aren’t behind him. Pushing himself to train for a triathlon to start checking off his bucket list, the ex-child actor is delighte ...
Silver Hills Senior and Singles Residence isn’t exactly a boring place. Home to a death predicting cat named Tolstoy, a night manager who may or may not suck blood and float above the floor, a cook with mad voodoo and pie baking powers, and a trio of nosy sleuths who are determined to get to the bottom of the corpse in the library (maybe literally)…some might say things couldn’t get any weirder. Some would be wrong.
Marissa Madison lives with a unique family: an inventive uncle whose experiments usually involve explosions, an artist aunt who collects classic automobiles, a mother caught in a 1950s time warp, and a playboy twin brother who impersonates their eccentric aunt. Ian MacGregor should have been enjoying a roaring drunk to grieve his father, not selling every piece of personal property so his mother didn't have to live on the street. However, his purchaser for a 1972 Pinto station wagon has disappeared. As Ian gets caught up in finding this eccentric collector, he falls in love with ...
It's a day just like any other day... until something utterly unfamiliar suddenly lands in your back yard. Susan is the epitome of the happy housewife, contentedly conducting her daily ritual of cleaning her home and keeping everything just as it should be. Wrapped up in her own little world within those familiar walls, she hardly notices the altogether different arrival in her own back yard. She may ignore the sudden shaking beneath her slippered feet, she might even neglect to spot the conspicuous sight itself—but she can't evade the stench. Something's wrong. Very wrong. And Susan's incapab ...
Pomeroy, a towering street musician on parole, is out of the clink for the umpteenth time and wants to become a rock star. With fame and fortune in mind, he heads to Occupy Oakland, hoping to get on television, attract an agent, and score a million dollar contract for Ants in My Pants, his marathon ditty. Pomeroy is a skirmish-loving, dumpster-diving, narcissistic crazy who thinks he can sing like Pavarotti and that all women want to jump his bones. His parole officer, a street-smart Hispanic woman, tells Pomeroy to quit staring at her alligator pumps and get himself a real plan. But Pomeroy h ...
Billionaire Rose West suffers no fools. Growing up abandoned by her parents and left to the socialite wolves at an all-girl boarding school, Rose learned early on how to survive with a smile, a wink, and cleavage full of cash. As an oil baroness, a soon-to-be honors graduate from a prestigious university, and a fairly attractive woman --if you’re into big hair and bigger boobs-- Rose is poised to take over the world. Too bad she has no idea what she wants to do with her life. Hashtag quarterlife crisis NASA astronaut Vance Bodaway made a deal with himself a long time ago—be an astronaut, be al ...
Former playboy Ryan Madison has wanted no one else since he met elfenchaun, Dori. He has waited many long months for her to be certain she could love a mere human and his quirky family. Now, as they are planning their Christmas wedding, a box of broken childhood memories arrives, as well as a space ship carrying alien canines that crash lands into a neighbor’s barn. Rescued from 1800s Olde Ireland by Uncle Horace in his time machine, elfenchaun Dori is still in awe of modern times and her love for Ryan. When his past shows up in the form of a first-grade crush dressed in a chicken suit, Dori c ...
Thaniya Rasid grew up in the Middle East dreaming of becoming a surgeon. Now living an ordinary life as a mother, wife and a hospital lab tech in Vancouver, Canada, she garners unexpected fame as youTube’s Queen of Hummus when her video demonstrating the recipe goes viral. How could blending chickpeas in a food processor generate so much excitement? And how could her life have ended up so far away from all her expectations? To make sense of the unlikely events that have brought her to this place, Thaniya turns to food, curating memorable eating experiences of her life, searching for clue ...
Bill Rodgers makes us laugh until our sides hurt in this hilarious look at current events - today and yesterday. “Bill has been making me laugh for over twenty years!” - Jay Leno “Will tickle your funny bone. Damned clever!” - Jesse Sublett, Author, Musician, Austin Character “Bill knows where the funny is.” - Shannon Sedwick, Esther’s Follies
This suburbanite is about to meet a dashing spy… Isabel “Stan” Stanley is stuck in a rut in the DC suburbs. As a wannabe romance writer, she hopes a sexy muse falls into her lap. But she never expected a handsome spy to dive through her sunroof… Pursued by a hail of bullets, international CIA Agent Kelvin Kapone didn’t have plans to make a friend. But when his latest mission puts him in the bewildering burbs, the charming Stan is a surprisingly strong guide. As he discovers a chilling terrorist plot, Kelvin doesn’t want to admit that he may just need the suburbanite’s help… Despite he ...
He'd never guess that his very courage to commit could be the cause of his own downfall. Jake's loved and lost, suffered failed relationships and felt real sorrow, but the new girl in his life may just be the one to finally put an end to that life. His girlfriend Samantha is sweet and kind, full of joy, and the kind of girl Jake can be perfectly content sitting in complete silence with. It's so comfortable, so easy, to fall completely for her. In fact, Jake would do anything for Samantha, anything at all. Just returned from attending Samantha's family reunion, Jake's high as a kite, basking in ...
After all the years they had been married, Maddie Ainsworth's presence still had the ability to discombobulate Horace. She was as tall as his own six feet--the reason they saw eye-to-eye on most things, they joked. To Horace, she was more beautiful than when they met thirty-some years ago. Maddie loved Horace more than anything or anyone in her life. When they met, they both believed they could change the world. Now Horace was working on an invention to do just that, and Maddie wanted to be part of that change. After this trip, she promised herself. No more commitments that would take her away ...
